Treatment #8

So we’re officially on the downhill slide folks. DOWNHILL. SLIDE!!! I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I officially have only 3 more treatments left. WOOHOO!!!

And it’s a good thing too as I’m apparently becoming more and more allergic to my treatments. You’ll remember I had a pretty severe allergic reaction at my last treatment. Well…the same thing happened this week too. I took all my pre-emptive drugs just like I was instructed to do. Got to the doctor’s office. Got all my blood tests. Everything looked good (except my white cells were really low) and got hooked up to the IV. About 10 minutes into the actual chemo drugs I began to have shortness of breath and the nurses immediately took me off the chemo. They pushed another massive amount of Benadryl and steroids through and managed to head the major reaction off at the pass. My poor friend Macy got to witness the whole thing. She said she was really impressed with how quick the nurses moved and got me to feeling better.

Here’s the fun news. The drug that I’m apparently allergic too is also apparently the drug that makes me averse to cold things. Now that I’m no longer taking that drug I can FINALLY have cold drinks! I had a Coke Float for dinner the other night and it was glorious! Cold things no longer feel like electric currents in my mouth nor do they all taste like butter! Hoorah!

Think that was the only excitement at chemo this past week?? You’re WRONG! I happened to be sitting next to this older man who looked incredibly familiar to me. I kept thinking…”Maybe he is a member of the Chamber. I must know him through business somehow.” Just about the time I was about to give up and dive into my Travel magazine…his wife came in and said…”True? True Wallace?” And I tentatively said…”yessss…” Then she said…”Did you go to Byng Junior High?” And again I said…”yes”. Then she said…”You know our daughter Karen!”

Turns out my chair neighbor this week was the father of one of my best friends in junior high! Talk about a small world! I haven’t seen her parents for probably 15 or 20 years which would explain the reason why I didn’t recognize them…well that and the chemo brain.

After he finished his treatment a younger woman came in and took his chair. Kaylee, I think was her name, yet another breast cancer patient under the age of 30. I never cease to be amazed by all the women who are diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m also amazed at how supportive they all are with one another. She had at least 4 women come in to see her and bring her goodies and blankets for her first treatment. I gotta say I was a little jealous. I started thinking…”Hey! Where are all the people coming in to support me through my COLON cancer???” Then I thought…”Ohhh right! Yeah…it’s called your family and friends True! They come every treatment and bring you goodies to help see you through!” Who needs an official support group when you have such an amazing un-official one!

Kaylee was really sweet. I felt sorry for her because she had not gone through the “Chemo Class” to learn about her cancer and how the chemo would affect her. I wish everyone would just find the time to take that. It is so informative and helpful! But between her nurses and myself I think we got her up to speed. It’s pretty bad when I’m the “old pro” at all this chemo business. HA! But I do take a certain joy in helping alleviate some of the scariness for the younger women who I meet there. She was there with her husband and he, as most men do, seemed scared and uneasy being in a hospital/doctor’s office situation. So I did my part in putting him at ease and helping her realize that it’s certainly not the end of the world and you’ll be amazed at how much you can still do…even when you’re on chemo.

It’s also funny. Now my friends have started asking me…”True…what are you going to do in three treatments when you can no longer use ‘I have cancer’ as a way to deal with icky situations, horrid people, or just generally things you don’t really want to do???”

I just laugh and say…”Well…I guess I’ll just say, ‘don’t mess with me! I kicked cancer’s ass and I’m sure yours won’t be any tougher!”

Symptoms

I feel I would be remiss at this point if I didn’t share with you what got me to the doctor and onto the table for a colonoscopy. I’ve had many friends and acquaintances ask…”How did you know something was wrong?”

Well…here are a few “symptoms” listed on the MD Anderson website. Now I’m not a doctor, so just because you might have a little blood in your poo don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that it’s cancer. However…if you KEEP having blood in your poo…then go see your doctor.

MD Anderson says…

There often are no symptoms of colon cancer in its early stages. Most colon cancers begin as a polyp, a small non-cancerous growth on the colon wall that can grow larger and become cancerous. As polyps grow, they can bleed or obstruct the intestine.

Symptoms include:
• Rectal bleeding
• Blood in the stool or toilet after a bowel movement
• Prolonged diarrhea
• A change in size or shape of your stool
• Abdominal pain or a cramping pain in your lower stomach
• A feeling of discomfort or urge to have a bowel movement when there is no need

Many colon symptoms are not cancer, but if you notice one or more of these symptoms for more than two weeks, see your doctor.

I had been experiencing four of the six symptoms listed above for several months before I asked my doctor about it. You see I’ve always had a slightly irritable bowel and my mother has had Ulcerative Colitis since she was 30, so I really didn’t think anything of it.

It wasn’t until the size and frequency of my bowel movements changed that I really got worried. I eat a TON of bran. Seriously…I feel like a cow sometimes from all the bran and fiber I consume. So when I stopped going to the bathroom regularly (like every morning at 9am after my first cup of coffee at work) and the size of it changed AND I noticed blood actually IN it…I decided it was time to see the doctor.

I had originally asked my gynecologist about it at my annual meeting with him and he discounted it to hemorrhoids. A month later I went to see my family physician because I had a cough I just couldn’t get rid of and I wanted rid of it before the holidays. When we discussed my symptoms and my family history he scheduled me for a colonoscopy immediately after the holidays and the rest…as they say…is history.

Again…let me stress to you…I AM NOT A DOCTOR. However, if you feel like you are experiencing similar things please go see your doctor. It’s never too early to have a colonoscopy or to have your blood checked for cancer markers.

And feel free to run any poo-related questions by me. After all this…I feel very free to speak to anyone about my poo, their poo, my colon, their colon, etc.

Mid-week chemo...blah...

So mid-week chemo BLOWS. It blows BAD. In case you missed it…they had to change my schedule up last week because the clinic that I usually go to on Sundays to get “un-plugged” is no long open. So as of last week I had to switch to mid-week. I took the weekend off last weekend due to the schedule change and to let me platelets come back up. So this week I had chemo on Wednesday. I took the day off and went in like usual. Then went home and crashed. Typical chemo day.

Then Thursday I got up and drove 2 hours to Ponca City for a conference. I got home about 4pm and wanted to DIE.

Today I got up just fine. Went in to get unplugged and now here I am at work…again…wanting to die. I am SO tired. I just keep forgetting that chemo, on a cellular level, is like running a marathon. My muscles don’t feel it…but the rest of my body does through wanting to just curl up and sleep for 3 weeks.

Wednesday was interesting though. Everything started out fine…my platelets had made a remarkable change going from 97 on Friday to 160 by mid week which was GREAT! I got hooked up to my IV and everything was progressing as usual until I started to sneeze uncontrollably. Then I noticed that my palms and feet were itching like they had poison ivy all over them. Then I started breaking out into hives. About the hives time was when the nurses stopped the chemo and gave me a massive dose of Benadryl and steroids. Funny thing about drugs like that going directly into your blood stream…I kind of felt like I was back in the hospital getting morphine again. I could totally feel it go all through my body. I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I could feel my eyes dilating. It was crazy.

About the time the steroid was supposed to kick in making me feel like Super Woman…I crashed. The Benadryl worked its magic and I was itch-free and ready to snooze. I’ve never dozed at chemo, although I see a lot of the older people doing it. Having done it now I’m thinking that’s the way to go. It might have been the nap plus the steroids but when I got home Wednesday I felt like a new woman!

If I went alone to chemo and didn’t have friends coming to visit me each time…I would most certainly ask the nurses to put me out. A fellow blogger once said that at this point in his treatment he was tired of approaching it like John Wayne and decided he wanted all the pain/sleeping meds they could give him just to knock him out at chemo. Now I see what he meant!

Luckily my allergic reaction to one of the drugs is something that is pretty common for lots of people at this stage in the game. The nurses were really quick to act and made sure that I wasn’t in any discomfort. So now I’ve got amped up Benadryl, steroids, and Zantac that I will take the night before/day of my next four treatments. Or rather…my LAST four treatments. YAY!

The other good news is that the doctor’s office was able to work it where my insurance will pay for me to get home health care to come “un-plug” me on Sundays now so I’m back to my Friday-Sunday schedule for chemo. YAY! No more having to feel exhausted and nauseated at work! Woohoo!

I seriously don’t know how people go get chemo and then go to work. I guess we all do what we have to do…but call me a wussy…I just don’t have it in me to be polite and serving when I’m hooked up to something that is pumping poison directly into my heart.

Random Thoughts

So I heard back from Hot Surgeon today. HA! HA! Swimming is allowed! In fact his direct quote was…”Knock yourself out and do the things that you enjoy!” Hmmm…doing the things I enjoy would probably include him. But I digress to a place that you, gentle reader, probably don’t want to digress to.

My mother called last night and asked if I’d joined my new gym yet because she wanted to “help” with it. On one condition. That I not join a gym until after chemo and the port is out. You see…she’s afraid that I will “over exercise”. My response to that was…”Hello??? Have we met??? I’m not exactly the ‘over exercise’ type. Not to worry.” But she does so I asked if I got the all clear from Hot Surgeon if that would make her feel better. So this morning when she called I got to gloat.

See I think part of beating cancer is keeping up the appearance of normalcy. Doing the things that you normally enjoy doing. I enjoy swimming. So since I haven’t been able to do it all spring…well…it’s just been killing me. Not to mention that the longer I avoid extracurricular activity the pudgier I get. Yeah, yeah, yeah…everyone says “Don’t worry about that right now. It’s the chemo and the steroids that they are pumping directly into your heart that is causing you to gain weight.”

Well…that might be right. But really I think it’s probably from sitting on my arse a lot more than I normally do because I can because “I have cancer”. Or eating that extra pork chop because “my red blood cells need it.” WhatEVER True. Your red blood cells do NOT need that extra pork chop and neither does your bra fat.

In other unrelated thoughts…I am a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan. I admit it. I’ve watched this stupid “reality” show since its inception. My favorite bachelor still remains Bob Guinney…that is, until he became “The Bachelor” and subsequently became a total man-whore. But I digress.

So this season we have Ali… a twenty-something girl who left her job at Facebook in San Francisco to become the newest in a long line of love-losers. As I’m watching it this season and hearing all the guys (and Ali) on it talk about how they came to the show to “find true love and a wife” I’m struck by the fact that America has totally bought into the unrealistic thought that finding true love should be easy and clean. When in all actuality it isn’t. Life (and thus love) is messy. It’s not all helicopter rides over the Hollywood sign or jet trips to Vegas.

What I want to see is people put in real situations. I want to see on the first home town date this year the guy tell Ali…”Well I had planned on taking you on a tour of my town, grabbing a romantic dinner at this great little bistro around the corner and then later meeting my family. But instead my sister who has cancer really needs me to come over and mow her lawn and trim some of her trees. So if you don’t mind…I thought we’d do that and then grab some dinner before meeting the rest of my family.”

I want to see them miss their connection flight at La Guardia on their way to Barcelona and see how they deal with the stress of a missed connection and an iPod that’s now on the blink.

I want to see Ali get a horrid case of food poisoning and see the guy she’s with deal with it. Because, let’s face it, guys don’t do “sick” unless they are in it for the long haul. And even then it’s a tossup.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure out of 25 hand selected guys there is probably one or two truly nice men who aren’t as shallow as they are perceived on the show. But when you’re jetting between tropical paradises and make-out sessions in Hollywood hot tubs…when do you get to see if the person you’re with is truly empathetic or just sympathetic?

Okay. That is all. I’m off my soap box today.

And can I just say...

I have yet to see anyone who looks like this. The media and movies have wrongly portrayed cancer patients for years! 50 Cent says he lost like 50 pounds to portray a "cancer patient" in a new movie. Well 50 Cent if you had actually visited a chemo treatment center or actually talked to a cancer patient you would know that you are more likely to GAIN weight than to become emaciated.

I had this discussion today with the nurse who was taking my vitals. I asked him..."So, seriously, when does the emaciation kick in? 50 Cent is all emaciated and I'm just wondering when that nice little silver lining kicks in? You know...amongst all the diarrhea, constipation, cold sensitivity, etc....I'm just wondering when I can expect to loose some of this pesky weight."

He only laughed at me and said that wasn't likely to happen.

Thanks alot Nurse Dude. Geez way to burst a girls bubble.

Hey 50 Cent...when you really want to know what a cancer patient looks like give me a call. I'll take you to Ischen's for some fried chicken and beer. Then you can gain 30 pounds and really look like one of us. I realize it's not as dramatic as looking anorexic...but believe me, it's certainly more realistic.

Ugh. Just "ugh".

So today was supposed to be my 7th treatment. Thus leaving me (after this weekend) with only 4 more to go. But alas, thanks to the Federal government not reimbursing providers at a decent level for Medicaid patients…my lovely clinic will no longer be open on Sundays to “un-plug” me from my chemo pump. So that means that a little bit more than ½ way through my treatments I have to switch days.

My initial schedule worked out SO well. I would go in on Friday mornings, have my labs run, and get hooked up to the IV for 5 hours. I would work while I was there and then I would go home in a nauseated haze and crash for the rest of the day. Saturday was usually spent in bed and Sunday was usually a little better.

Well now I have switch to Wednesdays. That means that I will go in on Wednesday morning, get my labs and chemo and work remotely. Then I will probably go home and CRASH and then get up on Thursday morning and haul it into work in a nauseated haze. Then Friday I will get up and go to the doctor’s office, get un-plugged and then haul it into work where I will suffer through the rest of the day feeling exhausted and nauseated. Great. Just flipping GREAT. That should make the last 2 months of treatment seem really special.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining that I get another weekend pump-free. That is nice. It’s probably not a bad deal that I have to wait until Wednesday for my treatment since my platelets were so low this week. My platelets have been progressively getting lower which is not uncommon at this point in treatment. However…if they get much lower I may be forced to undergo a transfusion OR a very unpleasant treatment that would cause my bone marrow to over produce the platelets…but at a VERY painful price to me. Some people who have experienced that say it feels like every bone in your body is exploding one at a time. That doesn’t sound very pleasant to me…so I think I’ll work at avoiding that experience.

Last weekend, over Memorial Day, I went to visit my nephews in Midland, TX. That is just a hot, desolate place. But we had SO MUCH FUN there! I haven’t seen my nephews since Thanksgiving. This was not our year to see them at Christmas and immediately after the holidays was when I was diagnosed. So we’ve been hesitant at seeing them since they are little walking Petri dishes and always seem to be sick. But lucky the only thing I came back with was a stuffy nose due to allergies, which had not bothered me (thank you chemo!) until just now.

The side effects of the chemo are still what you would expect. I still have the tingling in my hands if I touch something cold. My mouth still feels like it’s electrified if I drink something cold. However the cold sensation dissipated fairly quickly this time. Today I’m actually drinking an icy Sonic drink for the first time since I started the chemo and it is glorious! I find that the straw helps. It somehow, maybe, warms up as it travels up the straw and makes it far easier to consume. I haven’t had any mouth or nose sores since the 2nd treatment. I’m still able to eat just about anything I want. That is good as I have to keep eating lots of leafy green veggies to keep the hemoglobin up.

I was kind of naughty last weekend and sat in the sun, un-sun screened, for about 15 minutes. I got pretty baked. It was NOT a pretty sight and I totally got busted for it today by the PA. She came in and immediately said ”You got some sun this weekend didn’t you,” in a very accusatory tone. I thought it had faded to a nice color but I guess they are trained to hawk-eye that. She gave me the same lecture on being really careful in the sun when I’m on the F-U5. I guess I’ll have to be REALLY careful this weekend when I go to the lake. HA!

The other thing that I’ve been curious about this week was swimming. Can I swim with my port where it is? I forgot to ask the PA today so I decided to email the man who put it in…Hot Surgeon. I figured if anyone would know the answer to that it would be Hot Surgeon. So we shall see what he says. Ohh Hot Surgeon how I miss you!

So we’ll see how next week goes with chemo in the middle of the week. At least I won’t have to haul the pump around all weekend. Yippee.